Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
In better news....
One week from today, someone we know and love should be wearing a pump.
No. More. Shots.
No. More. Shots.
Thankful for a few more years...
I have a cousin, about 10 years older than me, who was diagnosed with T1D on his 12th birthday. Was talking with my aunt yesterday and promptly got off the phone and vomited after hearing this story...
Dave was in the midst of moving... got in the truck to go between the houses. Blood sugar crashed. He (thankfully only) hit a curb, but he was out. Car...still running. Dave locked in and passed out.
Police and fire came, blocked the car in case he came to and hit the gas. Finally got in to get him some sugar. He has no memory of any of it.
He could've hit something and been injured. Or died. He could've hit someone and they could've been injured. Or died. This could've been a phenomenal mess.
With diabetes, it can happen and it can happen fast -- especially if you miss a sign. Even when you've been managing your diabetes for 38 years.
And with that, I'm thankful that Hannah has 5 more years before she gets behind the wheel. And with getting a new pump every four years, it's likely that the next gen tools will be even better. Diabetes isn't just a pain in the ass....it has the potential to be very, very scary.
Meh.
Dave was in the midst of moving... got in the truck to go between the houses. Blood sugar crashed. He (thankfully only) hit a curb, but he was out. Car...still running. Dave locked in and passed out.
Police and fire came, blocked the car in case he came to and hit the gas. Finally got in to get him some sugar. He has no memory of any of it.
He could've hit something and been injured. Or died. He could've hit someone and they could've been injured. Or died. This could've been a phenomenal mess.
With diabetes, it can happen and it can happen fast -- especially if you miss a sign. Even when you've been managing your diabetes for 38 years.
And with that, I'm thankful that Hannah has 5 more years before she gets behind the wheel. And with getting a new pump every four years, it's likely that the next gen tools will be even better. Diabetes isn't just a pain in the ass....it has the potential to be very, very scary.
Meh.
Friday, May 25, 2012
And she's off...
She's off to Eastern Washington with Dad and Tara and Cody and Cody and Ben for the long weekend. Lots of good conversation about making sure she feels ok with everything...how to manage with different schedules and different foods and different activities and different people. Cannot wait to hear how it goes. Feeling thankful that we're not dealing with the pump this week. (But we will be soon! WHOOP!)
In the meantime, 4 days and 4 sleeps of being responsible for no one. Ahhhhh.....
In the meantime, 4 days and 4 sleeps of being responsible for no one. Ahhhhh.....
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Pizza and Ice Cream and Cookies! oh my!
Hannah had a great birthday! Pizza! Cookies! Ice Cream! Friends! Sleepover!
It meant more insulin, but we did it. And it was fun and fine.
First diabetic birthday. Check.
It meant more insulin, but we did it. And it was fun and fine.
First diabetic birthday. Check.
I think it finally hit me yesterday...
I think it finally hit me yesterday... that I am tired.
I went to the diabetes support group Thursday night and cried all the way home, cried all night and cried all the way to work. The meeting in and of itself was fine...mostly a planning meeting for the group rather than what I would traditionally think of as a support group. But the women who were there...they were tired. TIRED. Beyond exhausted. They are years into this and they still have questions and feel isolated and have crazy blood sugars and issues with schools....and...and...and...
After diagnosis, I was told it would take about a year to level off. And I held it together, unsure of how I would pull this off for a year, but at least I knew what to expect. To see these women, though....it really decimated any remote sense of hope I'd been clinging to. Expectations and sense of new normal are going to need to be renegotiated.
A few more weeks and we'll be on the pump. The bright side is that at least this will remove shots from our lives. Even if everything else is still crazy, at least we won't have shots too.
What surprised me is that once I started crying, I haven't much been able to stop. Delayed reaction perhaps. What I wouldn't give for a few days in which I could not have to think about this -- but also not feel pressured to catch up on work or home stuff. But then I think of Hannah who will never get a day off and I feel pretty crummy for wishing for respite. But I do. I do wish for a bit of a break -- and not the one in 7 years when she goes to college. :)
I went to the diabetes support group Thursday night and cried all the way home, cried all night and cried all the way to work. The meeting in and of itself was fine...mostly a planning meeting for the group rather than what I would traditionally think of as a support group. But the women who were there...they were tired. TIRED. Beyond exhausted. They are years into this and they still have questions and feel isolated and have crazy blood sugars and issues with schools....and...and...and...
After diagnosis, I was told it would take about a year to level off. And I held it together, unsure of how I would pull this off for a year, but at least I knew what to expect. To see these women, though....it really decimated any remote sense of hope I'd been clinging to. Expectations and sense of new normal are going to need to be renegotiated.
A few more weeks and we'll be on the pump. The bright side is that at least this will remove shots from our lives. Even if everything else is still crazy, at least we won't have shots too.
What surprised me is that once I started crying, I haven't much been able to stop. Delayed reaction perhaps. What I wouldn't give for a few days in which I could not have to think about this -- but also not feel pressured to catch up on work or home stuff. But then I think of Hannah who will never get a day off and I feel pretty crummy for wishing for respite. But I do. I do wish for a bit of a break -- and not the one in 7 years when she goes to college. :)
Friday, May 18, 2012
Birthday sugar
Birthdays and diabetes. Whoa.
I decided last night that birthdays would simply require a bit of grace. That expecting and being ok with potentially wonky blood sugars was the best approach. Very interested to see how the day unfolds.
About to go wake H up for her birthday breakfast and go pick up treats for school.
Welcome to eleven, Hannah!!
I decided last night that birthdays would simply require a bit of grace. That expecting and being ok with potentially wonky blood sugars was the best approach. Very interested to see how the day unfolds.
About to go wake H up for her birthday breakfast and go pick up treats for school.
Welcome to eleven, Hannah!!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
2 days, 20 days
2 day until Hannah turns 11 and we attempt a weekend full of fun and friends while trying to manage blood sugars. We have a plan, but I gotta tell you: kind of overwhelming.
20 days until the pump is hooked up. We couldn't be more ready.
20 days until the pump is hooked up. We couldn't be more ready.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Empty
The scary huge awful intimidating box of diabetes material from the hospital is finally sorted through. Amen
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Bad blogger mommy
Oh man....it's not that there haven't been things to say... I've just struggled with the words and with the time to sort out the words.
We'e made peace with the June 5 start date for the pump. I think the universe knows better what will work for us than we do. This gets Jim and the kids off and back on their memorial day trip without having to be newly on the pump with crazy blood sugars away from home. It's hard enough to have diabetes. It's harder to have diabetes and be out of your normal routine. It's harder yet to be out of your routine and have whack blood sugars. All I can say is that I'm really looking forward to the pump.
Blood sugars remain mostly in range. Had a few crazy days, amplified by the fact that the bleeping clinic would not return my calls....which resulted in a carefully executed, graceful, kind but stern smackdown with the customer care center in which I asked what my expectations should be around callbacks. When I finally got to a nurse and explained what had been going on, she confirmed it was serious (validating) and was even more apologetic about not getting back to us (maddening).
When there is a monopoly on care within a 30 mile radius of you, one thinks twice about being a difficult patient family -- but at the same time, what the heck am I supposed to do? Our pediatrician didn't know the answer, I'm sure as heck not going on the internet to look, and it left me contemplating a switch to Seattle care, which would've been a serious pain.
In happier news, today is the JDRF walk. Hannah's team raised over $1600 -- amazing for a slapdash throw together effort. We've got a big group of friends walking on what is shaping up to be a gorgeous day.
We'e made peace with the June 5 start date for the pump. I think the universe knows better what will work for us than we do. This gets Jim and the kids off and back on their memorial day trip without having to be newly on the pump with crazy blood sugars away from home. It's hard enough to have diabetes. It's harder to have diabetes and be out of your normal routine. It's harder yet to be out of your routine and have whack blood sugars. All I can say is that I'm really looking forward to the pump.
Blood sugars remain mostly in range. Had a few crazy days, amplified by the fact that the bleeping clinic would not return my calls....which resulted in a carefully executed, graceful, kind but stern smackdown with the customer care center in which I asked what my expectations should be around callbacks. When I finally got to a nurse and explained what had been going on, she confirmed it was serious (validating) and was even more apologetic about not getting back to us (maddening).
When there is a monopoly on care within a 30 mile radius of you, one thinks twice about being a difficult patient family -- but at the same time, what the heck am I supposed to do? Our pediatrician didn't know the answer, I'm sure as heck not going on the internet to look, and it left me contemplating a switch to Seattle care, which would've been a serious pain.
In happier news, today is the JDRF walk. Hannah's team raised over $1600 -- amazing for a slapdash throw together effort. We've got a big group of friends walking on what is shaping up to be a gorgeous day.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
The pump. It's here. But....
We can't start the "REAL" pump school until June 4. <<insert wails of despair here.>>
More later.
More later.
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