Remember....

In better news....

One week from today, someone we know and love should be wearing a pump.

No. More. Shots.

Thankful for a few more years...

I have a cousin, about 10 years older than me, who was diagnosed with T1D on his 12th birthday. Was talking with my aunt yesterday and promptly got off the phone and vomited after hearing this story...

Dave was in the midst of moving... got in the truck to go between the houses.  Blood sugar crashed. He (thankfully only) hit a curb, but he was out.  Car...still running.  Dave locked in and passed out.

Police and fire came, blocked the car in case he came to and hit the gas.  Finally got in to get him some sugar.  He has no memory of any of it.

He could've hit something and been injured.  Or died.  He could've hit someone and they could've been injured.  Or died.  This could've been a phenomenal mess.

With diabetes, it can happen and it can happen fast -- especially if you miss a sign.  Even when you've been managing your diabetes for 38 years.

And with that, I'm thankful that Hannah has 5 more years before she gets behind the wheel.  And with getting a new pump every four years, it's likely that the next gen tools will be even better.  Diabetes isn't just a pain in the ass....it has the potential to be very, very scary.

Meh.

And she's off...

She's off to Eastern Washington with Dad and Tara and Cody and Cody and Ben for the long weekend.  Lots of good conversation about making sure she feels ok with everything...how to manage with different schedules and different foods and different activities and different people.  Cannot wait to hear how it goes.  Feeling thankful that we're not dealing with the pump this week. (But we will be soon! WHOOP!)

In the meantime, 4 days and 4 sleeps of being responsible for no one.  Ahhhhh.....

Pizza and Ice Cream and Cookies! oh my!

Hannah had a great birthday! Pizza! Cookies! Ice Cream! Friends! Sleepover!

It meant more insulin, but we did it.  And it was fun and fine.

First diabetic birthday. Check.

I think it finally hit me yesterday...

I think it finally hit me yesterday... that I am tired.

I went to the diabetes support group Thursday night and cried all the way home, cried all night and cried all the way to work.  The meeting in and of itself was fine...mostly a planning meeting for the group rather than what I would traditionally think of as a support group.  But the women who were there...they were tired.  TIRED.  Beyond exhausted.  They are years into this and they still have questions and feel isolated and have crazy blood sugars and issues with schools....and...and...and...

After diagnosis, I was told it would take about a year to level off.  And I held it together, unsure of how I would pull this off for a year, but at least I knew what to expect.  To see these women, though....it really decimated any remote sense of hope I'd been clinging to.  Expectations and sense of new normal are going to need to be renegotiated.

A few more weeks and we'll be on the pump.  The bright side is that at least this will remove shots from our lives.  Even if everything else is still crazy, at least we won't have shots too.

What surprised me is that once I started crying, I haven't much been able to stop.  Delayed reaction perhaps.  What I wouldn't give for a few days in which I could not have to think about this -- but also not feel pressured to catch up on work or home stuff.  But then I think of Hannah who will never get a day off and I feel pretty crummy for wishing for respite.  But I do.  I do wish for a bit of a break -- and not the one in 7 years when she goes to college. :)

Birthday sugar

Birthdays and diabetes. Whoa.

I decided last night that birthdays would simply require a bit of grace. That expecting and being ok with potentially wonky blood sugars was the best approach.  Very interested to see how the day unfolds.

About to go wake H up for her birthday breakfast and go pick up treats for school.

Welcome to eleven, Hannah!!